Love and Trust

Everyone suffers from insecurity, self-doubt, fear of being controlled or cheated on, of missing out on their share of love, passion, money and possessions. Far from always being the self-possessed person we often see, like us they have many things going on under the surface. The best way to deal with these fears and doubts is through the practice of self-compassion, compassion and acceptance.

We need to trust that others are doing the best they know how to do based upon the knowledge they have and how they see the world, the same as we are. If we truly accept and love ourselves, it will have a flow-on effect to others. This not only benefits others and our interactions with them, but also ourselves. We can save ourselves a lot of pain, envy and the feeling of not being as good as everyone else by learning to love them as well as ourselves.

When we decide to look for the best in others and at the same time avoid victim-hood, this frees us and the other person from an endless round of recriminations, competition and lack. We can be grateful for their good qualities and see them worthy of love and respect. The practice of empathy can give us a wisdom that helps us all in our daily lives.

We All Need Space

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are." John Wooden

Needing space is not always about the living area. At times we need a break from certain people. We may love them and care about them but we need a break from them. By recognizing this important fact, we can keep a distance when necessary and not only maintain a relationship but have no guilt. When we attend to others we have a feeling of duty to be at their disposal. Maybe this is feasible some of the time. It is impossible to achieve all of the time. Admitting our own needs and responsibilities may alleviate the anxious feelings we have when we can't always solve other people's problems. Having empathy does not mean we can't say no. At times we must say no at least for that moment. At a later date we may be able to fulfill another's need but not at the present time.

We all feel overwhelmed with duty. Our thoughts say if you love this person you will find the time or find a way to help them with a difficulty. The end result is a total depletion of our own energy and spirit. This is not good. We need to maintain our own spirits in order to be of service to others. Maybe if we admitted we couldn't take on a duty, it might be helpful to the person if they were required to do it for themselves. They may need to be able to gain confidence in their own ability. We may be completely unaware that we are creating a dependency. Even our elderly parents must acknowledge that our lives are important and deserve attention. I am not suggesting neglect but pacing.

Five Things You Should Stop Doing to Win Back Your Ex

I have tried these five things to no avail. I was curious so I asked a couple of friends who had attempted to win back their ex, the response was same.

1. Wishing things could come back to normal
For your ex to be your "ex" something went down badly. The opportunity to make things right could be lost. He or she probably has moved on and met someone who has done better than you ever did. Its time to wake up and let it go. Even if you eventually succeeds in getting him or her back, i doubt you could ever make it so right, except of-course he or she is still much available and willing as much as you to get things back to normal

2.Working hard to get him or her jealous
Forget those good old tricks of trying to hang around her with your new found 'arranged date'. You can only piss them off the more. Jealously works, is just that it doesn't make things right again, it just makes your ex feel you are still that same boastful-am-OK-with-myself type.

3. Tailing your spouse
It is really time to move on. It is both sad and selfish to keep pressing things. Tailing him or her makes you look too desperate and even if you succeed in winning them back, you would have lost all the edge in the relationship

What Do Men Find Romantic?

Men are often stereotyped as having the romantic depth of tree sloth. Although a woman showing up naked with beer may be considered romantic by some, men are usually a little deeper than that. Men too feel passion, love, and romance; it's just that when expressing it, they don't often make much sense.

When it comes to romance, women have had the market cornered. Flowers, chocolates, breakfast in bed, candlelight dinners, and counting the times men say, "I love you" on St. Valentine's Day. But men don't need that. To light the fire of passion in a man, simply follow these five simple steps:

1) Touch him. Guys are tactile; holding a man's hand, lightly touching his arm during a conversation, or a random hug shows a man you're interested in him more than telling him so.

2) Compliment his manliness. No matter how big and strong a man is he's not as secure as he might seem. Guys want to be heroes, the one who swoops in and saves the day, so if he fixes the toilet, builds a fence, or simply changes a light bulb, you should tell him how fantastic he is and what an improvement it is and the cook him something that he would like to say thank you.