Monday, March 25, 2013

Love and Trust

Everyone suffers from insecurity, self-doubt, fear of being controlled or cheated on, of missing out on their share of love, passion, money and possessions. Far from always being the self-possessed person we often see, like us they have many things going on under the surface. The best way to deal with these fears and doubts is through the practice of self-compassion, compassion and acceptance.

We need to trust that others are doing the best they know how to do based upon the knowledge they have and how they see the world, the same as we are. If we truly accept and love ourselves, it will have a flow-on effect to others. This not only benefits others and our interactions with them, but also ourselves. We can save ourselves a lot of pain, envy and the feeling of not being as good as everyone else by learning to love them as well as ourselves.

When we decide to look for the best in others and at the same time avoid victim-hood, this frees us and the other person from an endless round of recriminations, competition and lack. We can be grateful for their good qualities and see them worthy of love and respect. The practice of empathy can give us a wisdom that helps us all in our daily lives.

You may find they are entrenched in their point of view and it doesn't mesh with yours and this is causing problems and they are unwilling to meet you halfway. In this case, its OK to release them with love and best wishes and get on with your life with no hard feelings. After all we don't have to be right all the time and sometimes we may not even be right, we just have what we know in the moment.

We learn to love and accept and even to let go when it's needed by the practice of mindfulness and non-attachment. We learn to live in and enjoy the moment and not to see others as impacting on us in any great way. We feel love and acceptance but don't have to control people or situations or entice others to our ways and point of view. We give ourselves and others permission to be who we are, believe what we believe and do what we do. While it is easy to do this, it's not instant.

It takes daily practice to forgive ourselves, forgive others and accept that we are all a part of a larger world, and that to hurt ourselves or others has a lasting effect. If we trip up, we accept we are only human and return to our practice. Loving, forgiving and accepting has a far greater effect on your life than control and vengeance, and this effect is of achieving peace and harmony. This frees up our energy for pursuing the things that really matter to us.

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